Top Ten Current Fattest Athletes in Sports

10- Glen Davis- Maybe it’s hard to view him as fat, but I had to put someone from the NBA. His nickname of course is big baby, but that’s because its short for baby back ribs. I heard since Amare called him fat hes been doing crunches daily….Nestle crunches.

9-Pablo Sandoval- Your about to notice a trend of baseball players, which may start to qualify it as the laziest sport. Whenever you are nicknamed (Panda) after a big animal you know you are fat. Most athletes are named after agile and ferocious animals and this guy is named after a giant, cuddly bear. He dove for a ball to the left the other day and caused a shift in the San Andreas fault.

8-Shaun Rogers- Of course NFL lineman are supposed to be huge but not that huge. Plus he plays for the Lions, which is like playing for the Mets these days. Sadly enough, he has the same nickname as Glen Davis and the Lions usually rank last in the league in fumble recoveries because this man tries to eat the ball instead of just falling on it.

7- Prince Fielder- In his defense, his dad was also fat but still there is no need to have a stomach that large. I just feel bad for the team trying to give him a contract because they are going to have to offer him 2 because he is the size of 2 people

6-Joe Blanton- Yes, he pitches for my favorite team and yes he did hit a home run in the World Series but lets face it, he was out of breath by the time he reached home plate and his ERA seems to always creep up around the same number as his weight ( Current Era- 5.50)

5-C.C Sabathia- The alternate spelling of his first name is CiCi, in honor of the phenomenal pizza buffet. It’s hard to rip on his skill because he is one of the best left handed pitchers in the game. Thank god the Yankees have such a high payroll because most of it contributes to stitching his fat ass a uniform that is loose on him. Maybe the tarp would be a better fit and be more cost effective.

4-Tony Stewart- Listen, we don’t have to sit here and debate whether NASCAR is a real sport because the bottom line is Tony Stewart is fat. I don’t watch much NASCAR and I know Jordan is creaming his pants at the thought of this being here, but I guess it would make sense that he is fat. I believe he spends the longest making a pit stop because he uses his headset as an ordering tactic for food.

3- Albert Haynesworth- Ok, I know I have been pushing for this guy to come to the Eagles, but realistically I just want Andy Reid to at least have someone to relate to. After signing a typical Redskins contract, this fat idiot failed the fitness test. The portion he probably failed was the skinfold because they didn’t have a pair of tongs to measure his stomach.

2- Jared Lorenzen- LOL is the first thing that comes to mind. Okay he’s not technically active, nor ever really has ever been is his life, but what were the credentials to be a starting QB at his college? Ohh I know, considering he went to Kentucky , the lineman had a KFC eat off and the loser was considered the skinniest and most able to play QB. He does have a super bowl ring though , pictures do confirm it is in fact an onion ring

1- John Daly- I understand golf involves no athleticism (I didn’t say no skill) considering you actually drive a vehicle to your next shot, but don’t at least his tits get in the way on the backswing? I know this is in no order, but holy shit. If there was a category for fattest, laziest, and biggest slopper he would take the cake and im sure that’s how he would want it.



Johhny Boy Cooling Off


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