You guys have gone over and above all of my expectations so far in regards to this blog, and I want to personally thank you from the bottom of my hopefully not so clogged heart. As the famous philosopher Gunther once said, its a "tutti frutti summer" right now and I would personally like to repay all of our viewers for their amazing feedback. To do so, I, Koosh, formerly Sham, Free Willy, Shamu, Fatman among other names, will attempt to perform an Olympic caliber dive through a pool tube designed for little girls under the age of the 5. The idea came to me one night while your fellow writers and I amongst our other hefty peers were frolicking around in the pool and someone bet me that I couldn't jump through the inner tube with a diameter of no lie, less than 10 inches. The person was so confident that I couldn't fit, he bet me his life savings, his kidneys and a year of whatever fast-food I wanted. Imagine trying to fit a bowling ball through a hole the size of a quarter. Even better, imagine trying to fit a sumo wrestler through a basketball hoop.
Me fitting through this tube was damn near impossible and defied any laws of gravity. Newton was probably rolling around in his grave after he heard what happened (or felt the mild tremor that occurred after). To prove my critics wrong, I did a little pre-game stretch. As I'm about to start the dive I hear comments such as "You'll fit through that tube when Stevie Wonder reads his kids a goodnight story" and "Even Jesus couldn't perform that kind of miracle." To their disbelief I took off running like a starving Ethiopian child towards a Big-Mac, and BOOM! wouldnt you believe it. Im not going to tell you the results of this story until after the video is posted. I'll leave you with this though, the only time I have seen jaws drop lower is Ben trying to eat a Triple whopper.
This is where, you, the viewers come in. If you want to see me re-create this dive, in a teeny weenie string bikini (bottom only), we need 50 votes. A poll will be up for you guys to vote. Once we reach 50 votes, the hysterical video will be posted. There will be no gimmicks. There will be no lubrication on the tube to squeeze me through. The only hope I have jumping through that tube is that there will be a twinkie waiting at the bottom for me....that is if I make it.
So please, I ask all of you, to either follow us on Twitter @Toobig4society and watch for our updates on Twitter and Facebook. Tell all your friends because hands down, this could be the next viral YouTube sensation.
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