Before I get into my story I feel that I should give a little background on how I was raised (more like trained to be fat). To be completely honest, I was destined for obesity from the time I was born. I had no fucking chance in hell in having a normal skinny persons life. I come from a Italian family that thinks left overs should be hidden in your stomach as if they were trying to hide Jimmy Hoffa. Most family's have feasts for special occasions or holidays, NOPE not mine. Our usual family dinner consists of SO MUCH FOOD and so many courses that a good portion of it needs to be left on the god damn counter top because there is simply no space left on the dinner table. I was told if i didn't finish my dinner plate (which had more fucking food on it then most of you can eat at a buffet) that I couldn't have dessert. The fucking dessert alone would be more then your entire days worth of calories.
Now with that explained, I can truly give justice to our first Superbowl party together. I told my mom that I was going to have a few friends over for the big game. She asked how many guys were going to come. I told her just two guys from school, Ben who I met through football and also was in most of my classes (I nicely told her at that moment in time that he was also a large guy), and a kid named Pat who I never met before but herd he was on the skinny side. Skinny side!!.... Already didn't like the kid. So hearing that we would have two extra people at our home for the game she instantly started throwing out ideas for what to make as far as food went. My mother is a great cook and knows what shes doing in a kitchen, but she has no clue how to prepare REGULAR portions.
Superbowl Sunday comes and I wake up to so many smells that I can only think that I died in my sleep and I'm in line for the mother of all buffets in heaven. Unfortunately, it was not heaven, but it was my moms cooking. Needless to say when I got downstairs I couldn't even focus on one particular item of food. To be completely honest there was enough food to feed a small village in a third world country. And before you forget this amount of food was for 5 people, two of them being my mother who is a vegetarian and didn't eat 90% of what she made for us, and my father who strangely enough is an average size human being.
Just to touch on the food that was made (and I'm definitely leaving things out).........
-Buffalo Wings
-Meatballs w/marinara sauce
-12 inch torpedo rolls for Meatball sandwiches
-Hamburgers
-Hotdogs
-BBQ Chicken
-Chilli Con Queso Dip
-Deep Fried (not baked) French Fries w/ a side of cheese whiz sauce
-Vodka Rigatoni
-Baked Ziti
-Of Course every kind of Soda you can think of
-Chips (not baked Duh)
-Pretzels
-French Onion dip
-Mozzarella sticks w/marinara sauce
-Sausage peppers and onions
And easily 4-5 additional food items that could alone be a whole fucking dinner.
Ben and Pat show up an hour or so before the game starts. Ben introduces me to Pat and we immediately started eating. Now I cant speak for Ben and Pat but I didn't eat all day in preparation for this meal. Of course we all ate as fast as we could like someone was going to take the food from us, when in reality my mother would be sending them both home with more food then most NORMAL sized people would eat in a entire day. After we finished (more like ate till we had such sever stomach pains that we could no longer sit upright) we moved to the TV room to watch the game. Ben, Pat and myself all took turns in the bathroom (for multiple reasons) for the remainder of the night. We each became more and more sick as the night went on.
The car ride home may have been the best part of the night as my mother was driving, myself in the front passenger seat, and Ben and Pat in the back seat. We all were about ready to shit ourselves at the same time. At one point, Ben having to use the bathroom extremely bad attempts to lay across the back seat to relieve pain due to excessive eating. While moaning and groaning Ben sits up, (now in a delirious state of mind) clears the back window of fog and says "Were the fuck are we?", not realizing we were less then 1 minute from his house. That night proved to me that not only did any of us not mind shitting and puking all night and missing most of the game just for an amazing meal, but we were all clearly Too BIG 4 Society.
Now with that explained, I can truly give justice to our first Superbowl party together. I told my mom that I was going to have a few friends over for the big game. She asked how many guys were going to come. I told her just two guys from school, Ben who I met through football and also was in most of my classes (I nicely told her at that moment in time that he was also a large guy), and a kid named Pat who I never met before but herd he was on the skinny side. Skinny side!!.... Already didn't like the kid. So hearing that we would have two extra people at our home for the game she instantly started throwing out ideas for what to make as far as food went. My mother is a great cook and knows what shes doing in a kitchen, but she has no clue how to prepare REGULAR portions.
Superbowl Sunday comes and I wake up to so many smells that I can only think that I died in my sleep and I'm in line for the mother of all buffets in heaven. Unfortunately, it was not heaven, but it was my moms cooking. Needless to say when I got downstairs I couldn't even focus on one particular item of food. To be completely honest there was enough food to feed a small village in a third world country. And before you forget this amount of food was for 5 people, two of them being my mother who is a vegetarian and didn't eat 90% of what she made for us, and my father who strangely enough is an average size human being.
Just to touch on the food that was made (and I'm definitely leaving things out).........
-Buffalo Wings
-Meatballs w/marinara sauce
-12 inch torpedo rolls for Meatball sandwiches
-Hamburgers
-Hotdogs
-BBQ Chicken
-Chilli Con Queso Dip
-Deep Fried (not baked) French Fries w/ a side of cheese whiz sauce
-Vodka Rigatoni
-Baked Ziti
-Of Course every kind of Soda you can think of
-Chips (not baked Duh)
-Pretzels
-French Onion dip
-Mozzarella sticks w/marinara sauce
-Sausage peppers and onions
And easily 4-5 additional food items that could alone be a whole fucking dinner.
Ben and Pat show up an hour or so before the game starts. Ben introduces me to Pat and we immediately started eating. Now I cant speak for Ben and Pat but I didn't eat all day in preparation for this meal. Of course we all ate as fast as we could like someone was going to take the food from us, when in reality my mother would be sending them both home with more food then most NORMAL sized people would eat in a entire day. After we finished (more like ate till we had such sever stomach pains that we could no longer sit upright) we moved to the TV room to watch the game. Ben, Pat and myself all took turns in the bathroom (for multiple reasons) for the remainder of the night. We each became more and more sick as the night went on.
The car ride home may have been the best part of the night as my mother was driving, myself in the front passenger seat, and Ben and Pat in the back seat. We all were about ready to shit ourselves at the same time. At one point, Ben having to use the bathroom extremely bad attempts to lay across the back seat to relieve pain due to excessive eating. While moaning and groaning Ben sits up, (now in a delirious state of mind) clears the back window of fog and says "Were the fuck are we?", not realizing we were less then 1 minute from his house. That night proved to me that not only did any of us not mind shitting and puking all night and missing most of the game just for an amazing meal, but we were all clearly Too BIG 4 Society.
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